Going back
by Amber Jack
Summary: they thought is was going to be over, they were wrong. Turns out it was just about to begin...again samjess Dean? AU
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own supernatural and I will never claim too.

Enjoy the story; by the way the story will be AU. Love the show but I had this plot bunny that's been eating me the last couple of days so…

Prologue

I could remember the screams. My brother was screaming and trying to deny what was right in front of him. It was like I was blinded to the world for the first time I could remember. I could see and feel nothing; all I could hear were the sounds of the screams.

I think that was the first thing I ever heard when I was born, my mother's scream of joyous pain when she had me and then it was I who was screaming at being wrenched front my mother's comfort.

Something that still haunts me to this day is the terrified last scream of my mother as the Demon destroyed he body and tried to take her soul. He couldn't though; we wouldn't find out until many years later that she stayed in the house to protect those under her roof. She was a protector even in death. It was one of the best things I could remember about her.

I never told my brother that I remembered that night, even when we were younger and he was my hero. The one I looked up to. Instead of my mother or father, it was my brother who I ran too when I got hurt or received a good grade on a test. It was my brother who took care of me when I got sick and it was my brother who helped through my adolescence years. Of course he got his revenge as only an older brother could, but he was my hero.

We finally found the bastard that destroyed our lives. We took care of his children first. I had found an exorcism that would not only send their sorry asses back to hell but made sure they stayed there, in some cases it actually destroyed the demons. Unfortunately that only served to piss the Demon off even further.

It was one hell of a fight. We had finally subdued the bastard and I let down my guard. I knew better but I couldn't help it, I finally felt free. I wasn't though. The moment I let down my guard he struck. The bastard had been waiting on a mistake and I made it. With all the strength he had left over, he flung me away and I hit the side of the old warehouse we were in and hit it hard. It was like falling from a helicopter a hundred feet over an ocean. I lost sensation throughout my body instantly and I knew I was dying. That was when my brother's scream of denial tore through the air.

I was trying to tell him to finish it while the demon was down, but I couldn't seem to move my mouth. I couldn't seem to do anything. I wasn't able to use my 'great powers', the whole reason that the demon had been after me.

Once I had just been a reluctant hunter, then I was a college boy and then I was a hunter for revenge. A little over a year later I become the hunted. A game had been set and we had just been placed in check and it was one move away from check mate.

Missouri had warned us, and we didn't listen. I knew I wasn't ready and neither was Dean, now though it was too late. I made a move too soon and my brother and I were about to pay the price.


	2. Chapter One

Disclaimer: I don't own supernatural and I will never claim too.

Enjoy the story; by the way the story will be AU. Love the show but I had this plot bunny that's been eating me the last couple of days so…

Before I go into chapter one I want to give some information that will be pertinent to this story. So here we go, in my mind Missouri taught Sam a little on how to use his gifts. Sam also learned a bit on his own, from instinct, trial and error. He is relatively controlled with his telekinesis and can keep moderately strong walls around his mind. These walls aren't strong enough to completely keep the taunts and voices of the demon out, but strong enough to keep him from getting possessed.

He and Dean were being hunted by both the supernatural and the hunting community. Their father did die and was taken in exchange for Dean's life.

Sam also has empathic abilities. This makes him much more emotional than the average person. It will be explained later in the story of why their father didn't realize that his son was far from normal.

Shortly after he went to college and met Jessica, he walked into a New Age store and picked up an amulet that suppressed the emotions he felt from other people. No one notices it because it has a spell that keeps it from being noticed and unless Sam points it out or takes it off, no one will notice it. So now that I've explained myself, we go back to the story…

Chapter One

Awareness suddenly slammed into me. It was like someone just slapped me awake from a deep sleep. I was disoriented and nothing around me made sense.

I could hear the muffled laughs of people around me. It looked like I was in a bar of some kind. Distantly I could hear a woman's voice asking me something and then a guy's muffled laugh as she seemed to get irritated that I was ignoring it. I was trying to shake out of my stupor but nothing made sense.

I recognized were I was and knew what day it was suppose to be. It wasn't possible. I had seen some crazed up shit in my life by this was at the top of the list. It looked like I was back at Stanford and it was Halloween night. The woman's voice that I was hearing was one I thought lost forever. It was Jessica in all her glory. She was wearing the same nurse costume that she had worn that last Halloween.

I shut my eyes and shook my head as possibilities ran through my mind, each one as impossible as the next. So I took a chance.

Wrapping my left arm around Jess's shoulder I leaned into her as if I had a headache (which at the moment was quite true) and murmured, "I'm not feeling to well."

She looked over at me concerned, "You look pale, I know you didn't drink all that much."

"Got a headache."

Jess turned toward our 'zombified' friend, "I'm going to take Sam home, talk to you later, k?

I saw him nod and she led me out the door, all the while I was trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

I wasn't any closer to an answer as we came to our Apartment. I followed her through the door and went to our room. Jess went into the bathroom and came out a few minutes later holding two Aspirin and a glass of water.

"Here, this will help," she murmured as she sat on the edge of our bed. I took the Aspirin from her and popped them back. I had forgotten how much I missed her smile, really everything about her.

I was beginning to hope I wasn't dreaming and for some unbelievable reason I had a second chance to make things better. I wasn't going to mess things up this time. I was going to make damn sure that things worked out how they were suppose to. I was going to make sure that my father lived, my brother lived and most suredly I was going to make damn sure my fiancé lived.

thanks be to my first reviewer, you're the best :)


	3. Chapter two

Disclaimer: I don't own supernatural and I will never claim too.

Enjoy the story; by the way the story will be AU. Love the show but I had this plot bunny that's been eating me the last couple of days so…please review. I know I'm getting hits on the story but I would like feed back.

Chapter two

I laid awake, listening to Jess sleep. Something I had used to do when I was worried or just thinking. I'd missed this. It was just about three a.m.; my brother would be breaking in soon.

Quietly I got up, trying not to disturb Jess as she slept in her smurf shirt and pink striped underwear. Silently I crept through our apartment and went to the front door. Dean would be coming through the window in a couple minutes if I left the door locked so I unlocked the door and then sat down on my couch in the living room. I could hear the putting of his Impala as he parked in front of the apartment complex.

Sighing I rubbed my temples as I heard the door push open. Usually Jess or I locked the door at night, but tonight I had made sure it was open. I'm sure Dean would cuss me out for doing something so stupid but at least this time I didn't have a broken window.

A shadow figure moved into the hall way and in front of the entrance to the living room. Dean was muttering under his breath about stupid little brothers who didn't have any sense.

I smirked slightly, he would never change and for that I was grateful.

"Hello Dean," I murmured.

He jumped about three feet into the air and started cursing. "What the Hell! Samuel Winchester, why the hell was the door unlocked and what the hell are you doing up at three a.m.?" He yelled.

I winced as I heard the door open to my bedroom. Jess was up and by the feel of things she was not happy at being up after just falling asleep.

"What is going here on?" she hissed angrily as she came into the room. I hid a smirk as my brother stared at her. He was as surprised this time as he was last time.

Turning up his charm, "Now who might you be?"

She glared at him as I walked up behind her, "A mighty pissed off women who has to be at work in three hours."

My brother looked shell-shocked and I asked, "What are you doing here Dean?"

"Dean?" Jess murmured, "As in your brother, who you don't talk to, Dean?"

I nodded as he straightened, "Can I talk to you in private?"

"What ever you have to say can be explained in front of Jessica."

He gave me his cocky smirk, "Really, Well then. Dad is missing. He went on a hunting trip and has been seen in a couple of weeks."

I narrowed my eyes at him, (I did have to play the part after all),"Jess, can you make us some coffee as I talk with my brother."

She frowned at me, but nodded all the same. She knew how I felt about my family and that I wasn't exactly ready to share my past with her. I would have to remedy that soon.

Jess walked to our tiny kitchen and began to make the coffee and I motioned Dean to the hallway.

He gave a low whistle and I choose not to comment on what I knew was going through his mind.

"What do you mean Dad's missing?"

"I haven't been able to contact him in the last two weeks. I've called some of his buddies and it's the same way. No one knows what happened to him. Alls I know is that he disappeared not too far from here."

"What do you want me to do about it?"

He said nothing for a moment then, "I need your help."

"No," I didn't want to leave Jess and I still needed to pretend to be the unwilling and angry son/brother.

"Dammit Sammy, I wouldn't ask if it weren't important!"

I glared at him for the use of that damn nick name but said nothing as Jess came over, "Coffee's done."

Dean was sullen and I smiled at her and nodded. Indicating that I would be there in a moment. "I'll go, but I've got to be back by early Sunday night. I have an interview Monday."

"Skip it."

"I can't"

He scoffed, "Why."  
Sighing, "It's my future. I have an interview to try and get into Stanford Law School. I have a chance to get a full ride." I lost him at Law.

"What?" he sputtered.

"It's my life, I'll help you but I have to be back," I said with finality. I wouldn't discuss it any further with him. I wasn't going to let Jess die again.

We walked into the tiny kitchen and grabbed a cup of coffee. Jess was leaning against the counter staring off in space.

"You are so out of my brother's league."

She smiled, "Funny I believe that was what he said when I had to ask him out as he was too damn stubborn or stupid to figure out that I had been hitting on him for almost a month."

I smiled, "I was right, you're too perfect."

She smiled softly, "What's going on?"

I jerked my head to the bedroom so I could talk to her and start packing duffel bag. We walked in the room, "I need to take care of something."

"So you're just going to drop every thing for that guy in there?"

"He's my brother, he needs my help. I'll still be in time for the interview," I said as I grabbed a duffle bag and started to put a few things in it.

"It's just…" she trailed off not knowing what to say.

"Look its only going to be for the weekend, but I want you to do me a favor."

"What?"

"I want you to go to Chad's and Charlotte's house for the weekend. I don't want you here alone."

"Why?"

I frowned, trying to explain without explaining. I couldn't figure out what to say to her. I didn't want what happened last time to happen this time. What I really wanted to do was to take her with me, but it wasn't time. I had a feeling that something had to happen first. I also knew that I had to go with my brother. There were some things that I couldn't change and some things that I could and would and nothing would stop me.

"Do you have one of your feelings?" I sighed in relief. After I had met Jess and started to go out with her and her friends, they began to notice that I seemed to be more moody and irritable when we were in a crowded room. I didn't know it at the time, but I was a low level untrained empath. I had the tendency to pick up the feelings of others. That could include their moods or aches and pains. It was one of many reasons that I didn't like to go out places, though for Jess I would do anything she asked of me.

After awhile and before I went to a New Age store, it became a running joke between us. Jess used to get a kick out of it during her time of the month. Unfortunately I felt what she felt and when that happened, everyone knew to stay away for a while. She was much better at hiding her annoyances than I was.

"Yes, I just want to make sure that you're safe."

She nodded in consent and began to pack herself an overnight bag. The last time I had one of my feelings one of our friends was in a serious car wreck and almost lost his life. It took her a few more minutes than I because she also had to get dressed, but within ten minutes we were walking out of room.

When Dean saw Jess's bag he got an odd look on his face and was about to say something, but I cut him off, "We're dropping Jess off at a friend of ours before we head out of town."

Dean nodded and we left the house without a word. As we walked closer to the Impala, Jess asked, "Did you call Chad?"

"Yes."

"When?" she asked as I opened the passenger side door for her. I grinned and she scowled knowing that I wouldn't answer her, at least not yet.

I gave the directions to Chad's house. It was only a couple of miles from where we lived. Chad was waiting at the door as we pulled up his driveway. Both Jess and I got out and I walked her to the door.

"I'll call you. Be careful and safe," I whispered. I pulled her close to me as I hugged her, I had nicked my self as I got out of my brother and I saw that my finger was bleeding. As I kissed her goodbye I ran my finger over the back of her shoulder and gave her a blood protection seal. I didn't know how much good it would do but it would offer her some protection if something happened and I couldn't get to her so enough. I looked back at her before I got back into my brother's car. "If you need me for what ever reason, call me, I'll answer."

She nodded and gave me a little wave and went inside. I pulled myself back into the Impala and Dean drove off. We were headed to Southern California to deal with a lady in white, not that my brother knew that yet.


	4. Chapter three

Disclaimer: I don't own supernatural and I will never claim too.

Enjoy the story; by the way the story will be AU. Love the show but I had this plot bunny that's been eating me the last couple of days so…please review. I know I'm getting hits on the story but I would like feed back.

Sorry I know the chapter is shorter than last, but the next chapter will be longer, promise, as always please enjoy.

Chapter Three

The haunting of the Lady in White went the same as before. I didn't feel the need to change anything. However we left sooner than had last time.

As soon as we were on the road I called Jess.

She picked up, "_hello?_"

"Hey, are you still at Chad's?"

"_Yeah, just got off work. Chad's not home. Charlie went to their parents house for the weekend, so I'm here by myself. Are you on your way?"_

"Yeah, I'll be there in a couple hours."

"_K, see you soon. Love you_."

"Love you too," I murmured back. I smiled as she hung up. This time the demon wouldn't win. I wouldn't lose her or anyone else that I loved.

My brother snorted, "You are completely whipped."

I smirked as I looked over at Dean; he was both amused and irritated. "When is that a bad thing?"  
He just muttered something unintelligible and continued to drive in silence. I closed my eyes; it had been awhile since I had had a decent night's sleep. Last time I had nightly dreams of Jessica dying in much the same way as mom had died. So my body was exhausted. Add that to what my brother and I had faced at the hands of the Demon before I wound up in the twilight zone, and you had a recipe heading for disaster.

We were arriving at Palo Alto when a feeling of dread, so strong it had me gasping for breath, hit me. Dean glanced at me in concern, as in a fury of movement I grabbed my cell phone and punched in Jess's number. It rang twice before she answered, "Sam?"

"Get out of the house, NOW!" My brother heard the panic in my voice and stepped on the accelerator. We were less than a mile away.

"What?"

"Now, hurry, something's there," she caught the panic and desperation in my voice. We were almost there. A couple more blocks was all the separated us.

I heard a crash in the house and then Jess's scream. "Jess!" I widened my eyes in terror and jumped out of the car as Dean pulled up. The car hadn't finished moving before I busted down the front door of our friend's house.

I was just in time to catch Jess as she fell down the stairs, bleeding from the stomach. I cradled her in my arms and ran out the house. I was barely out the door when the house burst into flames.

Shoving Jess and my self into the car, my last thought as my brother sped to the hospital was that Chad was going to be pissed.

----------------------------------------

(Any one know Jessica's last name? Other wise I'm just going to make something up in the next chapter.)


	5. Chapter four

Disclaimer: I don't own supernatural and I will never claim too.

Enjoy the story; by the way the story will be AU. Love the show but I had this plot bunny that's been eating me the last couple of days so…please review. I know I'm getting hits on the story but I would like some feed back.

Chapter Four

I was pacing the ER waiting room as my brother sat in one of the uncomfortable chairs that were offered for waiting family and friends. I couldn't get Jess's pain filled gaze out of my head. It was almost as bad as her body stuck to ceiling, a nightmare that haunted my sleep even now. It had been two hours since I had last heard anything.

I was mad at myself for taking too long to get back to Jess, for leaving her alone when I knew what could happen.

"You know that wearing down the floor isn't going to make the doctors come any faster," my brother said. I glared back at him and continued my pacing. I knew that he was just trying to calm me down and that he was worried about me, but I wasn't exactly receptive to him at the moment. I was too busy trying to stop myself from having a panic attack. At the moment I was trying to keep my emotions under control and to keep other people's emotions out of my head.

My amulet could only do so much and hospitals were not my favorite place. When I thought I was finally about to loose, it the doctor finally came out to talk to us.

"Jessica Moore?"

I looked up, "Here." I said and walked over to the doctor, my brother following.

He looked at us, "Are you family?"

I nodded, "She's my fiancée and this is my brother." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my brother start and I shrugged slightly, indicating that I would explain later. Where as I hadn't gotten her an actual ring, other than a simple promise ring she had a tendancy to wear around her neck, I had proposed to her and we had been looking at wedding band sets for a couple of weeks now.

The doctor took us back and on the way to her room explained, "Miss Moore was lucky that the burglar missed anything major. The cut was shallow enough that all she needed was stitches and staples."

"She'll be okay then?"

The doctor nodded, "We'd like to get her checked into a room for the night for observation, to make sure she doesn't get an infection."

Stopping in front of the temporary room, the doctor turned to us, "She'll be a little groggy from the pain killers and probably won't be entirely coherent. I believe that the police will want to talk to you after you're done talking."

I could practically see my brother cringe as the doctor opened the door and we walked in. Jess was still pale from the blood loss and her eyes were closed. I knew she wasn't quite asleep, but rather in between consciousness and unconsciousness.

I walked over to her bedside and my brother hung out by the door, not wanting to intrude, but inpatient to get out. He liked hospitals even less than I did and he wasn't even as sensitive as I was.

I smiled softly and took her hand in mine; she opened her eyes and turned her head to me, "Hey. The doc says that you have to stay overnight and that they might release you tomorrow afternoon."

She nodded to show she understood and me and began to drift off again. I sensed the police outside the door as the nurse came in and charted her stats. "They'll be moving her in a few minutes. You can wait until they move her and settle her in, but visiting hours began to in the morning at eight."

I nodded that I understood and she left the room. I stood over her bed and looked at her, glad she was still alive and pissed that the demon had tried to hurt her. My brother was still by the door.

"You know that I'm not going to start screaming and crying like a madman, right?"

Dean snorted, "That's not what I'm worried about."

"The police?" My brother nodded shortly and I continued, "Well from what the doc said, Jess already said it was a burglar, so we confirm her story. We were away for the weekend and she was staying at a friend's house. The burglar came in and surprised her as I called her. I heard the scream as she was attacked. We were at the house shortly after; I went inside, grabbed Jess and was out the door a couple minutes later."

"What about the fire?"

"A bomb."

"They'll investigate," my brother pointed out.

"Yeah and we'll be gone before they get that far into the investigation."

"What do you mean?"

I faced my brother fully and point blank asked, "Do you really think I'm going to keep her out of the loop now? Honestly I should have told her a year ago when she asked about my family."

"What about her own family?"

"All she has is a great aunt who could care less about what she does with her life."

Two orderlies came into the room and began to move Jess, "Will you talk to the police? I want to make sure that Jess is secure."

He nodded and left the room as I followed the orderlies to the elevator. Most likely after Jess was settled and I salted the room, Dean and I would go back to my apartment and pack a few things and then I would come back to the hospital as soon as I could.

Before I left for the night, I kissed Jess good-bye. She was asleep and would likely not be out of her drug induced unconsciousness until early in the morning. Hopefully I would be back by then, as it was I doubt I would be getting much sleep tonight. Dean would want an explanation and Jess's pain filled gaze would haunt my dreams even if I could sleep.


	6. Chapter five

Disclaimer: I don't own supernatural and I will never claim too.

Enjoy the story; by the way the story will be AU.

Thanks to my two reviewers. Any more out there?

Sorry for taking so long to get this chapter up. I had exams to prepare for and family problems to tend too. So on that note, enjoy the story :)

Chapter Five

As soon as we arrived at my apartment the phone began ringing. I knew who it was and was reluctant to pick-up but if I didn't, they were going to worry more.

I sighed and picked up the phone before it could switch to voice-mail. "Hello?"

"_Thank God, Are you alright? Is Jessica? What happened_?" Charlie's frantic voice rushed, not giving me the chance to answer.

"Calm down, Jessica is pretty much okay. She was attacked by someone who broke into the house. My brother and I got there just in time. She wasn't seriously injured but it will take some time to heal. She's at the hospital and the docs say that they'll likely release her tomorrow afternoon."

Charlie was quiet for a moment and then, "_I'm glad you guys are safe. Chad was pretty pissed when he got home, but the insurance guys will be at the site tomorrow. We'll be staying at Becca's for the next couple of weeks_."

I winced, "Tell Chad that I'm…"

She cut me off with a laugh, "_Sorry? Naw, he was just pissed because he didn't think of torching the place. This way we'll be able to get the money the house was worth and get our own places for once. We only bought the house because we both wanted out from under our parent's thumbs_."

I smiled, knowing how true that was. Their parents weren't the best kind of people. I would take my dad over theirs any day of the week. At least he showed us some kind of concern, even if it was to tell us what we'd done wrong so we wouldn't do it again. "Stay safe. Goodnight."

"_You too, be careful. Take good care of Jess_," she warned then hung up the phone.

I hung up the phone after she did. It would be awhile before I saw them again. Dean was sitting on the recliner in the living room and I sat across from him on the couch.

"What happened tonight?"

I raised an eyebrow as I glared at Dean, "I thought that was pretty obvious; Jess was attacked and barely made it out alive."

My brother gave me that 'do you think I'm that stupid' look he used to give me when I tried to get him to do something he didn't want to do. Nine times out of ten, he'd do what I asked because I was his baby brother and he considered it his job to protect me from the world.

"It was the demon; don't ask because I'm not completely sure how I know." (Which ware partly true, I wasn't exactly sure why the demon was after me. Oh I knew what my brother had told me, but I knew that wasn't the entirety of it. There was more that my father and Dean hadn't been able to find out and I was determined to find out why and the extent of my abilities.)

"Your girl, Jessica, she's very lucky to be alive. If we'd gotten there a minute later…"

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, "I know. Dean…" I didn't really know how to broach this subject so I just put it bluntly. "I have to tell her. I have to tell her everything; I can't keep this from her any more, especially after what she went through tonight and the fact that I'm planning to marry her."

Dean shook himself out of the stupor he was in after my little tirade, "about that…when were you planning on telling me that you were engaged. Where you even going to call?"

I gave him my own '_are you stupid' _look. He seemed to think about what he just asked and shook his head in annoyance, whether it was at me or himself, I wasn't able to determine.

"Not Dad, I know you'd never call him willingly. You still should have called me though."

I shrugged, "I was going to call you, but every time I picked up the phone I couldn't go through with it. I didn't know how to start that particular conversation. Besides the fact that we haven't talk since…well you know…" I trailed off uncomfortable with this conversation. We had never talked about that night I left. It still wasn't a conversation I wanted to have. Things were said and though I regret most of what I said, there are some things I still refuse to take back. "I wasn't sure how you would react."

He scowled, "It would have been nice to know that you were engaged or hell anything at all." He paused and then seemed almost resigned about something. I wasn't sure what until he asked, "Are you staying?"

I shook my head, "No, we need to find dad. Jess will understand. I'm pretty sure that she will come with us, she'll want her own revenge for what that bastard took from her."

"What do you mean?"

With distant eyes I answered. "She won't know until morning, I told the doctor that I would tell her. I didn't want her to find out from someone else."

"What?"

"She was pregnant."

He was silent, then simply said as I stood up, "It'll be dangerous."

"I know, but we can teach her how to defend herself. She's already fluent in Latin. I won't leave her behind and I know she won't stay. I can't loose her again," I whispered.

I don't know if Dean heard me or not, but he didn't say anything to suggest one way or the other

"You can sleep on the couch or in the office. There's a cot in there. Personally I suggest the couch." My brother smirked at this. "I'm going to pack a few things and then try to sleep some. I want to be at the hospital a.s.a.p.

My brother just nodded and leaned back in the recliner. I should have known. I went to the bedroom and sighed. It was going to be a long night.


	7. chapter six

Disclaimer: I don't own supernatural and I will never claim too.

Enjoy the story; by the way the story will be AU.

Here's my longest chapter to date. I don't have a beta so please forgive any spelling and grammatical errors. I do read my chapters a couple of times over before I post them.

To answer your question immortalwizardpirateelf-fan: no it wasn't the demon that threw Sam back in time…I'm not telling…it'd ruin the surprise (really I do know who, what and why) 

Please enjoy the new chapter and review if you wish. I like reviews. They make me happy.

Chapter Six

At ten to eight we were at the hospital. Dean was still a bit bleary eyed, but aware of his surroundings. He'd never been a morning person. I can't even count the number of times that I'd woken him up from across the room, to avoid getting mauled by one of his knifes that he kept under his pillow.

I hadn't slept much at all. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Jess's pale face. I could still see and feel her pain and I remembered what had happened before. Jess being pinned to the ceiling was something that would always haunt my nightmares.

At the hospital gift shop, I'd gotten her a simple lily. She'd always said that roses were too cliché. At eight, I was standing at the door to her room, looking in. I knew she was awake, but her eyes were closed.

"Hey…" I murmured. "You awake?"  
She muttered something intelligible about stupid boyfriends that I really didn't want to know about. She turned her face to me as I walked to her bed. Her face had color and she didn't look like she was in too much pain, probably the pain killers they'd given to her.

"For the most part, the docs said they'd release me if I could walk and my test results came back okay. What ever that bastard did, damaged some of my nerves around my abdomen. I don't have much skin feeling across my stomach though it still hurts like hell."

"I'm sorry…"

She cut me off, "I'm just glad that you got there when you did. It could have been so much worse." She shook her head slightly as I sat down. She noticed the lily and the overnight bag I held. "Did you bring me some clothes?"

I nodded.

"Where's your brother?"

"In the waiting room," I answered. Something was troubling her and she seemed to be trying to gather her thoughts as she stalled for time.

She looked at me, her blue eyes looked into mine, "That man, he should have been dead."

"What do you mean?"

She glanced toward the window. "Remember that sword and axe collection that Chad kept at the top of the stars?" I nodded. "Well when you called, I had grabbed one of the axes because I had heard a noise in the back room and the lights started to flicker. I was a little freaked out."

"Understandable."

She closed her eyes and frowned, "He said something right before he attacked me. I didn't catch it, but when he did, it startled me and as I turned around I swung the axe. Even though I tripped when I swung the axe, the axe damn near decapitated him Sammy," she opened her eyes. She usually didn't call me Sammy; only when she was amused or really upset. Unshed tears could easily be seen, it didn't take a genius to figure out she was upset and confused. "Tell me I'm not crazy. Please tell me that what I saw wasn't just a figment of my imagination. He didn't touch me, yet my stomach was sliced open. If you hadn't had been there, if I hadn't had fallen when I did…" she trailed off, not knowing what else to say.

Setting the lily and overnight bag on the table, I took her hands in mine. "You're not crazy or delusional." I paused and tried to gather my errant thoughts. I really didn't know what to say; about the lost baby…about my life…my childhood…about the demon….

I decided that the beginning was the best bet, "What I'm about to tell you will sound crazy and unbelievable, but please don't interrupt. Okay?" She nodded confused but curious, "When I was six months old, my mother was killed. She was pinned to the ceiling over my nursery, her abdomen sliced open. My father found her there as her blood dripped down on me. Less than a minute after my father saw my mother dead, she burst into flames. My father put me into my brother's arms told him to get me out of the house as fast as he could. For awhile my father was distant and went a little crazy. At first he thought he'd been hallucinating about that night. The police put the fire down to faulty wiring. My father went to a psychic for closure and she'd open his eyes to the world hidden behind our own. When she opened his eyes, the hunt for the supernatural began. He was filled with vengeance and anger for a long time. He still is."

I paused for a moment to see if Jess was taking all of it in. She had a slightly glazed look, but nodded for me to continue. "My father found people who showed him what was really out there in the night. He's an ex-marine so he knew how to defend himself and how to use various weapons. Growing up with the lifestyle that we had was interesting to say the least. I can honestly say I hated it. I wanted a normal life and I fought constantly with my father because of it."

"I guess you father didn't take too kindly to that," she cut in dryly.

I laughed bitterly, "No he didn't. He wanted a good little soldier, which was Dean, not me. I had the tendency to question everything he asked of us or ordered us to do."

"Why?"

I shrugged, "Honestly? I have no idea. Maybe it was because it was Dean who basically raised me as a kid. From my point of view, I couldn't understand why he followed my father so blindly. Now I understand. Dean followed dad the way I followed him: without question. It was like pulling teeth to get me to follow dad with out an argument breaking out. If Dean asked me, I'd usually do it, but if dad asked first, you could pretty much forget about it. Unless I understood it too be a life or death situation, I fought tooth and nail over every decision made.

"Bad thing about the fact that I always argued with my Dad, it was usually over something so simple, so stupid and it always escalated into something that would come short of blows."

"What do you mean?" Jess asked confused. I could almost hear the wheels in her head turning furiously as she jumped to the wrong conclusion about dad.

I sighed, "My father never hit either one of us. He'd get pretty damn irritated at me and then at Dean because he'd try to keep us from fighting, but he never raised a hand to us in anger. Before I was a teenager, we didn't always argue. We fought about little things, like any parent and child did, but the arguments didn't get really bad until after I turned thirteen."

She got a weird look in her eyes after I said this and then seemed to nod to herself, "You're empathic."

I nodded, "My 'feelings' as you like to call them started after I hit puberty. It wasn't bad at first. I just received and reflected surface emotions."

I closed my eyes and sighed, it was harder to explain than I had originally thought. I still didn't know how to tell her about the baby. So in my own way I was stalling for time as I explained about my life, "I'd just turned fourteen and Dean was hurt pretty badly on a hunt. Before that night, I'd never had too much trouble fighting the onslaught of emotions that I was constantly feeling. My brother just chalked my over emotional outbursts to being a difficult teenager. It's the reason he likes to call me a bitch. My dad just figured it was my way of rebelling; I don't think he wanted to know the truth.

She snorted at the bitch comment but otherwise remained silent, "Well after we rushed Dean to the ER, I froze in the middle of the waiting room. Dad didn't notice, he was too worried about Dean and had followed the doctors into the back. He didn't know that I had a nervous breakdown that night and I've never told him. Besides my own turbulent emotions, I was feeling everyone else's. To make matters worse I was in an ER where patients and their family members were waiting. Most all of them were in some kind of pain; either physical or emotional."

"What happened?"

"I got lucky, that night there was a light witch there in the ER waiting on word about a friend. I don't remember much, but I do know she put a temporary block on my empathy. She took pity on me and knew that I wasn't ready to feel the things I was feeling to such a degree. For awhile, the block held, but it was only a temporary solution." She muttered something about my necklace and I nodded, knowing what she meant. My necklace (I had picked it up in a New Age store on campus right after I had met Jessica and started to hand out with her friends) was a more permanent solution to the empathy, but still wasn't the best. Over the years, the empathy had only gotten stronger and the more it was blocked, the stronger it became. I would have to relearn control all over again, just like I would have to relearn how to control the visions and the telekinesis.

"Unfortunately when the block started to break, tension was running between dad and me. We were having another fight, this time Dean didn't step in and I wouldn't/couldn't let it go. The block broke completely the night I left. Things were said that can't really be taken back. I regret a lot of the things I said that night, and then there are things that I don't regret, things that really needed to be said.

"The end result is still something I regret. I left without looking back and never called, now my dad has gone missing and I have a feeling that something big is about to happen."

Nothing was said for a few minutes. Jess was trying to take in an enormous amount of information that for the most part sounded so fictional that I was surprised that she hadn't started ranting at me.

"So the bastard that attacked me, it was something supernatural?"

I nodded, "It was a demon, the same demon that killed my mother, the same demon that almost destroyed my family beyond repair."

Again nothing was said and she slipped her hands out of mine and placed them on her stomach. "I didn't want to tell you until I was sure, I wasn't positive until the doctors wouldn't look me in the eye when I asked."

I looked at her, silently telling her to continue, already knowing what it was about. "I'm going to come with you guys."

"I wouldn't have it any other way. After you heal properly, both Dean and I can teach you how to defend yourself and how to use the various tools of trade," she smiled slightly at my choice of words. "I just don't want you to be consumed with vengeance like my dad was."

She grabbed my hands, "I lost our baby…our baby…I won't recover from that so easily, but I still have you. I know that you'll keep me grounded in a way that no one else can."

I pulled her hands toward my face and kissed them, "I'm not going to let you fall. We'll catch the bastard and send him into oblivion. We'll get married like we planned and have kids, as many as you want."

She smiled playfully at my assurance, "Is that a fact Mr. Winchester?"

"Of course Miss Moore," laughing "after all, I always said I was psychic."


	8. Chapter seven

Disclaimer: I don't own supernatural and I will never claim too.

Enjoy the story; the story will be AU.

Here's another chapter for ya'll. Again, I don't have a beta so please forgive any spelling and grammatical errors. I do read my chapters a couple of times over before I post them.

Thanks to my reviewers.

Please enjoy the new chapter and review if you wish.

Chapter seven

After Jess was released, we were on the road. She hadn't wanted to go back to the apartment, so we continued to the road. Both of us were afraid that she'd get attacked again. Even though the hospital had reluctantly released her, she was still weak and a bit doped on pain killers.

I knew that the demon wouldn't give up if it believed she was still alive. Our best bet would be to keep her under the radar and that involved keeping her away from familiar places, at least until she was able to defend herself without question.

The demon wanted all my worldly ties cut. It wanted me alone and broken so that I would be ripe for the picking…so to speak. It wanted me to go mad so that I would loose control. I only hoped it thought that Jess was dead and wouldn't be made aware of that fact any time soon.

Dean hadn't said anything since we'd left the hospital. He just sat in his car and we piled in. Jess laid herself out in the back, trying to make herself as comfortable as she could until we reached a motel. At least the pain killers made her drowsy enough that she was able to fall asleep when we started to move. The rocking of the Impala, making her drift off so she'd be able to sleep.

Dad had written a set of coordinates in his journal. The Wendigo would have to be dealt with again, only this time I would make sure that we had some sort of blow torch. It could be make shift for all I care. A hair spray bottle and a light would work well enough. I wanted to fry the bastard, hopefully before anyone got killed this time.

As soon as she was able to learn, I would start refining her skills. I had taught her some self defense skills after she had been mugged on campus. We had been dating for about two months at the time. The things I had taught her were simple. Simple little moves that Dean had made sure I had known when I was a child, a child who had once wanted to be just like his big brother.

Probably the only thing I have truly regretted about going to Stanford was leaving my brother behind. Previously we had never really talked about it; Dean always did have issues with talking about his feelings. Hippocratic really, he'd demand to know what I was feeling, but refused to tell me how he was feeling. He would dance around the subject but never really answered any of my questions. Since I had always worn my amulet I could never get anything other than surface feelings from him. My empathy didn't get very focused until right before we went up against the demon; even then my control over it was sporadic at best. Missouri was only really able to help me with my visions and a little with the telekinesis. She had me do controlling exercises and meditation, which helped the telekinesis, but not the empathy.

Now though for what ever reason, since I was able to remember what will happen, my empathy was stronger than it ever was. It was leaking through the amulet. My telekinesis, I would have to relearn control, same with my visions, but I was confident that I could. Until then I would have to do some exercises to build up my control and my power. Maybe we could actually beat the demon this time, before anyone died.

Jess was snoring softly in the back of the Impala, a slight frown marring her forehead. She hadn't said anything much about what I had told her in the hospital. I knew she had questions, and when she asked I would answer.

Her hand was held protectively over her stomach. She hadn't taken the fact she miscarried too well. She hadn't had an emotional outburst, but rather she had gotten an odd gleam in her eyes. A look I knew only too well. The same look that my father held, that I had held in my eyes for years. It worried me, I'd rather she burst into tears instead of internalizing it, but for the moment I couldn't do anything about it.

The Impala had been silent for miles now. We'd been on the road for about two hours before Dean finally said something, "What were you thinking?"

"About what?" I already knew where this conversation was going.

"Your girl," he hissed quietly, as to not wake Jess. "She's not going to be safe with us, especially since she's injured."

I sighed, "Trust me, she's safer with us than alone. The demon will attack again, it won't stop. If I'm right, the only reason Jess wasn't attacked again at the hospital is that it thinks that she's dead. I'm hoping to continue that illusion."

Dean was quiet for a moment then asked, "Is she willing to learn?"

I smirked at my brother, "Soon she'll be able to wipe the floor with you or anyone who crosses her path." My brother snorted at my sentiment and muttered something along the lines of '_in your dreams_.'

"I'm not kidding. I've taught her a few things that she's perfected and she's good." I grew quiet then said softly, "Anyway the demon has no idea what it's done."

"What'd'ya mean?"

"It took from her the one thing she has always wanted…it killed our baby."

My brother was silent then asked, "How far along?"

I looked out the window, "Apparently she was about four weeks along. Neither one of us had known for sure, we'd expected that she was pregnant, but we weren't positive until…well you know."

"I'm sorry."

"So am I," I looked back at Jess. She was still sleeping, the frown gone from her forehead. "Vengeance is the most driving and deadliest of ambitions. I just hope that I can stop it from consuming her."

_"Who's going to stop it from consuming you?" _was the unspoken question that neither of us wanted to touch on. Instead all he said was "Dad" as if that explained it all and it did. Both of us had seen what vengeance had done to our father, had lived with it growing up. It was one of the reasons that Dad and I had always clashed, I couldn't understand his drive until Jess was dead and by then it hadn't mattered. I had let vengeance consume me and it had led to my 'death'.

I still didn't know what had happened, but I would find out. Until then, there was a Wendigo to take care of.

(Well that's the end of the chapter. To clarify this chapter is mostly self though from Sam's p.o.v. I know that bothers some people, but for the moment in this story there will be a lot of thinking and not so much on the dialogue until later. Dialogue will pick up in the next couple of chapters, I promise. Thanks and review if you'd like. Hope you've enjoyed my story so far.)


End file.
